The Spiller Anthologies

LOTR

Had to change my avatar because my Lord of the Rings leggings arrived.

colourofdistantlove:

The same old lines.

i wish to swim deep,
In your eyes.

Oceans, seas to sail,
Loving you.

I’ll take the plunge,
If you’ll dive too.

Wish I’d written this for my Liam. He is the best person I’ve ever met and the best friend and lover I’ve ever known.

(via eternallycoilingserpent)

A place to bear my soul, ramble my thoughts, show you what inspires me and tell you my dreams….

If you want to know what goes on behind the scenes of my writing and artwork, give me personal blog a follower. You’ll find random rambles about life and thoughts, as well as cool or cute pictures I want to reblog!

Another little bit inspired by a promt from new2bitterness

I wrote him a poem,
An ode and a letter.
I spoke of my heart
And the packages wrapped
And all labelled for him
All saved for my love.
He responded with poison,
And then venom and spite.
He set my heart on fire
And rose from my ashes.

Answer:

Hey there! I have finally gotten round to responding to this prompt. Thank you very much for it as it was rather challenging. I’ve written a lot of poems and prose about an ex who was very mistreating of me, so to write something fresh from this perspective was interesting :) so thank you very much! Hope it lives up to your expectations xxx

There’s a circle with my name on it
And a bruise from his fist.
There’s a bed with our blood pooling on it
And a patch wet from tears.
For hours he fucked me
Digging deep beneath skin
Preying on innocence
Preying on guilt.
For hours he watched me
Trembling and wimpering
But loyal to pain
And loyal to him.

There’s a new girl with smiles
And luscious blonde hair
There’s a new place for me
And a sad, wilted heart.
For days he ignored me
Tortured me loveless
Thrusting inside me
And then straight into her.
For days he would please her
And call her sweet names
Push me into the wind
And leave me to ashes
Leave me to dust.

There’s a list of his rules
Brazened deep in my heart
There’s a knife for an answer
When I step out of line.
For weeks I would beg him
For a moment of peace
Pleading for solace
I know comes from his hold.
For weeks he would laugh
At this toy he had broken
Not sorry for me
Just glad for his pride.

There’s a sharp edge that follows
Every sweet, suckled kiss
There’s a razor that cuts me
With every line that he draws.
For months I’ve been burning
My skin feels like melting
And my nerve endings shot
Al alone in this grip
For months I’ve been chasing
I run round in circles
And scream out to him
My heart and my soul… my old, damaged prince.

There’s no fairy tale ending
For me and my dreams
There’s no single salvation
For this broke, battered shell.
For years I’ve been fading
Forgetting all of my names
Losing my senses
And becoming emptier still.
For years he’s been winning
And there’s one thing I know
I’ll stay here forever
I’ll stay ‘till I die.

First of the ‘Prompt Poems’

Fairytales-and-dreams sent me the prompt of: ‘The flowers of spring had arrived,…’ Which sounded lovely and pretty, but me…. I managed to bring down the gloom!! Haha!!

The flowers of spring had arrived
Vibrant and glorious, they mock me
Joyous in their carbon breath
They sing sweet songs to sadden me
Whisper worse words to ‘woe is me’
It was here that we skipped,
And it was here that we lay
She’d weave her fingers through my hair
And plant her kisses on my brow
I come to fields to remember her
Sit within blades to see her smile
Behind my eyes her memory plays
Dancing in sunlight, gold as her hair
But these moments have faded
Soon the remnants will slide
Slip away like her life
Everyone’s happy with the coming of Spring
But for me it’s the time where I remember her death.

Prompts!

Many thanks to those you have sent me some prompts for poems! Much appreciated. I am looking forward to finishing work at the sweet shop and going home to write you lovely people some poems :) thank you!!

I am struggling for poetic inspiration. Does anyone want to send a random thought, sentence or just a word to my ask box as a prompt and I will write you a personal poem :)

Asks!

veinsofmelodies:

Hello and welcome to all new followers! If there’s anything you wish to know about me or anything I post, please feel free to ask :)

Happy Tumblring <3

Demons.

They take my words one by one
And replace them with fears
One by one

They march me down a broken path
And empty me of dreams
One by one

They strap me down for hours on end
Flaying and whipping my strength away
Darker and deeper within the evil grows
Scourging out my righteousness
Devouring all my pride
Replacing bones with venom
Turning blood into bile
And love into hate

They teach me how to tell vicious lies
Guiding and crafting this beast within me
Harder and nastier my face becomes
Embittering all I once loved
Poisoning all my hope
Discarding mercy, compassion
Changing truth into rage
And love into hate

I walk the streets of a blackened night
Searching for the innocent,
Feasting on their hearts
One by one.

I laugh at their frightened terrors
Haunting their waking dreams
Destroying their hopes
One by one.

If you’re intrigued to know more about me, the things I like and the personal rambles that come out of my head, do me a solid and follow my personal blog. There will be pictures of pretty ladies I admire, men I’d like to kiss, movies I like, beautiful places I’d like to visit and random spurts of thoughts.

Please come and say hi :)

Love isn’t about
   fucking each other
at any opportunity.

It also isn’t about
  how many months
or years
  that you’ve been together.

To me,
  love is about 
being able to see light
  inside of the person
who knows nothing
   but darkness.

My sentiments exactly.

(Source: mostlyfiction, via paleflame)

Restless…. It’s just a precursor for all the dreams I long to have.
Shifting unsettled…. It’s all just another reason that I cannot succumb.
There’s no comfort here in these linens and blankets
There’s no solace I’ll find in our history.

Broken webs that dangle adrift
This blackness a void and it’s spiralling deep
I cannot succumb and I will not give in
I’m begging for rest and I plead with his wings
Land me back gently, kiss me into night…

But tossed are my fancies and my groin is still trembling.
Fantasy faded as I screamed with fake joy.
I thought a release would soothe inner itches
But their scratches were deep
And I’m just lying here decimated.

Sullen and lowly, I’m not in a grip
Of the dominion of truth.

Reailty’s fallen on the back of your door
Lost to obivions whirled up from hate
Bitter and anxious I lie here awake.
I’m in the grasp of a temptress, she’s Vile and Spite
Babylonian Whore, she’s begging for more
Legs parted wide, she’s seeping with lust
It pours down on to me like some poisonous bile
It’s sticks in my eyes and it’s choked in my throat
Breathing’s too hard and my lungs feel like acid
I know that I’m drowning in my own pit of rage

Chained and unwilling to raise my own head
Caught in this madness you left in your wake

Smoke’s my reprise that helps elevation
Holding my hand in the dark when I’m scared
Joking and taunting when I can’t get it straight.

His scent doesn’t linger and I’m stuck with desire
Moaning and ripping from my insides to out
Placed them on shelves in a row for display
Depict and examine until nothing is pure

It’s all been reduced to ashen old lies

Trials and tales that tell me nothing of truth

Just twisted sad words that don’t make sense….

Just something I’m working one… This would be the introduction to these two characters…. I’m sure there is more to come…

As he pushes everything from the table top in utter rage, glasses and plates crashing to the floor, he realises he can’t remember how all of this started. He knows he is angry and believes in his convictions, but he cannot remember why. Once the reason, the catalyst, has been planted deep inside, it slowly spreads throughout him like coursing venom. Infecting and twisting all the parts he had protected. Slowly, the colours fade and the words lose meaning, until all there is in the sound. That repetitive, gnawing sound inside his brain, scratching and clawing. He has to scream to get it out, he has to fight to release it and it’s always when he fights with her.

He looks across the table at her face, wet with tears and full of shock. He hates to see her look of dismay. But once again, there it is, hanging on her face like a twisted Bacon painting. For a moment he feels sad, almost sorry, but once again, he loses sight of the reasons why. All he can feel is irritation. The scratching becomes louder and his head begins to throb. Again, he is screaming, cursing and breaking. She stands silent and shaking watching him melt. It used to be once in a while, but now it happens every day. He can’t break the cycle and she can’t break away.

BLOGS.

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